Last night was one of those nights. I could feel it coming. An urge I'm all too familiar with. And once this urge starts showing it's ugly head, I'm helpless. It's a demon I can't seem to escape.
I have an addiction. No, it's not alcohol. It's not drugs. My addiction is sugar. And, my sugar-craving demon was on the prowl last night.
There is a lot of controversy on the subject of placing sugar addiction in the same category as alcohol and drugs. If I didn't have a sugar addiction, I might agree that it shouldn't be in the same category. But, I do. I deal with the sugar cravings and urges to binge daily. And when it hits....it's all I can think about. Self control seems unattainable.
As I said, last night was one of those nights. All I could think about was having something sweet. And of course, there was nothing in the house. I ended up making some flour-less peanut butter cookies. Although the no-flour part was good, it still had sugar in it. I fought with my thoughts and decided to make them with half sugar/half Splenda. I baked the cookies and waited for them to cool.
As I was sitting there waiting, I started thinking about the goals I wanted to achieve in 2014. This binge fest that was about to happen definitely wouldn't put me any closer to reaching those goals. So, I sat there wrestling with my thoughts. Like a game of Tug-of-War in my mind.
I walked over and got a cookie and ate it. Notice, I said A cookie. Just one. I packed the rest of them up in Tupperware and put them away. That, my friends, was a victory for me. Just having one was harder than not having any at all.
People that don't have a sugar addiction may think "Big deal. You ate one cookie. Good for you.", but anyone that struggles with sugar addiction knows that it WAS a big deal. Last night, my self control won the battle. And for that, I celebrate!
There's still a war going on and I plan on winning battle after battle.
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